Sunday, April 12, 2009

So i heard all the rumors is it true the last month of planning THE WORSE?

We are now 25 days to go and counting. And everything seems to be falling apart. My mother says it’s just a mind over matter and that I am stressing to hard on the little things.


I heard all the horror stories about couples breaking up this close to the wedding.


I am already so on edge with the decorations I finally finished the flower arrangements and 2 out of 4 broke! They were every expensive glass vases to set on each side of the arch.


It seems like My fiancé and I are fighting none stop! To top it all off the park where the wedding is support to be held is under construction. Instead of everything falling together its seems to be falling apart.


We have been planning for over a year and a half. (Been together 3 years engaged and living together for 2 years.)





Has anyone else had similar mishaps? Dose it turn out ok.? Advice, stories, please!
So i heard all the rumors is it true the last month of planning THE WORSE?
Say
FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersYes, it happens. Don%26#039;t know how common it is, but it happened to me. There were times my husband just avoided me and our house because he knew I%26#039;d bite his head off. (No judging...he did every little thing I asked, and more. He was very supportive, and couldn%26#039;t help me if he were around anyway!)





We scheduled %26quot;wedding-free%26quot; days. It seemed like every minute of every day had some little wedding bit or another. I would get so stressed out over nothing...so we implemented days where we would go about our normal business (work days, weekends, anything we did) and not talk or discuss any part of the wedding. It actually worked! Even if I was working, if someone asked me a question or mentioned it I would say, %26quot;Sorry, this is a wedding-free day! I%26#039;ll tell you whatever you want to know tomorrow...%26quot; I was actually LESS stressd, able to be with my husband more. AND I think my bridesmaids appreciated it a lot, too. I%26#039;d call them on my WF days just to chat. It was cool because you%26#039;re recognizing that they have lives outside of your one day.





It boils down to this: Your wedding is one day. Yes, you want it to be smooth and perfect but it%26#039;s not going to be. End of story. You need to appreciate the day for what it is - the beginning of your new life with your husband. Just keep giving yourself that mantra!





So, you want stories?:


*I only wanted AT THE MOST 150 invited to my wedding. Husband%26#039;s family didn%26#039;t agree and we ended up inviting 250, many were people I didn%26#039;t know.


*My MIL was upset with the limited showe list I gave my MOH so she threw her own shower. I walked in to be introduced to more than 75 woman I had never met, and barely even heard of.


*My parents, who generously told us they%26#039;d give us a sum of money to help pay for the wedding (first of their children to get married), took back their word - and their money - about five weeks before the wedding.


*So many family and friends sent back RSVP%26#039;s with %26quot;EXTRA%26quot; people that I spent three days straight on the phone, only to hear that I was rude for %26quot;uninviting%26quot; guests who already RSVP%26#039;d. (Thanks again, MIL)


*Price of stamps went up between the time I had sent out the invites and when they were due back.


*I couldn%26#039;t sleep due to nightmares and had to get a prescription sleep aid!





WEDDING DAY:


*(well, night before) I burned my face to the point of an open wound at the rehersal dinner.


*I forgot to take my sleeping pill and didn%26#039;t sleep a wink the night before. :-(


*My flowers were roses when I ordered baby cala lillies.


*I got a flat tire on the way home from getting my makeup done, and was late for my own pictures/video


*My photographer and videographer fought for the duration of the wedding.


*I met more people at my wedding (none of whom I remember) that I didn%26#039;t even want invited.


*There was torrential downpours and the limos got lost from the church to the reception. The bridal party made it fine, but my driver actually got stuck in a flooded section of the road and had to be pushed out! (SOOO thankful to those guys that were walking by!)





I could go on...but I%26#039;ll spare you. Just know this: It gets back to normal. And as long as you truly love your husband-to-be, it will be okay.
Reply:You need to relax and realize that even if all your floral arrangements smashed, you%26#039;d still end up being married to the man of your dreams. You have to have faith that you%26#039;ve done what you could to make your wedding wonderful and memorable, and stop stressing on the details.





Like most other brides, I worried over the things that turned out to be a waste of my time. I only wish I could have known my wedding would have so far exceeded my expectations, I wouldn%26#039;t have worried about a single thing.





Maybe if you try to focus on what really matters to you, and trust friends and family to handle the rest, you could get some peace of mind.
Reply:one of my best friends got married this year and in the last few months everything fell apart. they joked that if they could make it threw the wedding they%26#039;d last forever.





their chruch caught on fire a few weeks before the wedding


2 d.j.%26#039;s canceled and 1 photographer


they bought a carriage and wanted to refinish it but found out afer it couldn%26#039;t be done





please answer my question


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...


she bought a used dress and then couldn%26#039;t get it altered


there was more but i can%26#039;t remember it right now but everything came together and she ended up with everything she needed and wanted and got married.





remember it%26#039;s not about all the stuff that goes along with getting married, it%26#039;s about saying %26quot;i do%26quot; and starting your life together. everyone just needs torelax and focus on what%26#039;s important.
Reply:Here%26#039;s what you need to remember:


On the day of the wedding, you and your fiance, the officiant and two witnesses are the only people that NEED to show up. The rest of the stuff is all fluff.





Of course you want your dress to be perfect, the flowers to be beautiful and everything else to be amazing. However, remember...at the end of the day...you will have met your goal which is: to be married to the man you love.





So... stop stressing, find a sense of humor because things WILL go wrong. If you can laugh off the troubles before your wedding it is great preparation for the troubles that you may face ahead during marriage.
Reply:I got married August 2007. We planned our wedding in 8 months and it was smooth and calm up until the last month or so.





It was about 3 weeks to our wedding and all of a sudden...


*My dad was mad that we didn%26#039;t have a ring bearer (he already knew this) and was insisting that we have one and trying to have my cousin come from CA to be one--he thought it wasn%26#039;t right to not have one.


*My MIL starts making demands. She wants a limo for her AND her whole family. She is trying to request non-alcoholic champagne from our caterer who kept telling her that they will give non-drinkers sparkling cider instead. But she kept on insisting NON-ALCOHOLIC champagne. She was getting pissy because it was open bar too.


*I thought I lost our marriage license and was crying--the priest had taken it and I didn%26#039;t realize it.


*Our priest last minute had to go away. Luckily, he had a replacement for all the weddings.


*A week before, my hair person flakes out on me. I had to find a new one in a week.





I think with everything involved in wedding planning, it%26#039;s really easy to get overwhelmed and stressed that last month. My advice--take a deep breath and relax (I know easier said than done) and don%26#039;t sweat the small stuff. Noone will notice the little things, so let them go because it%26#039;s less stress that way. Enjoy these last few weeks and have fun!
Reply:I%26#039;ve heard similar stories to yours before. Sounds like you and your fiance need to take a break. Go on a mini-vacation. Go to a bed and breakfast outside of town and don%26#039;t even talk about the wedding. Remember the wedding is just one day, an important one, but just a day. The marriage is what is important and you two need to get back to that. Remember, you will be the only person that even notices or cares that there are only two arrangements instead of four.
Reply:My wedding completely fell apart 3 weeks before we were supposed to get married. The hall wasn%26#039;t going to be finished (construction) and even if it were to be close enough my caterer would have had to cook the food outdoors because the kitchen wouldn%26#039;t be ready. I told the hall that I would not be having my wedding there, which meant that I also lost my photographer. It was a nightmare! I had the perfect formal wedding planned and my parents were getting ready to send out the checks.


When all this happened my fiance suggested having southern style barbecue. (what he wanted from the beginning) So that is what he did. I had my ceremony in a park -little decorating needed, my church had recently purchased 50 acres outside of town and put a building on it. Which included a lounge area and small cafe (it was the youth building) anyway it worked out beautifully. I changed into a little white sundress and we had so may compliments!


Everything will work out for the best even if it doesn%26#039;t seem that way right now!
Reply:Your probably stressing out so much because your fiance is your main support system but you are both feeling the stress and taking it out on each other. The only thing you can do now is breath and realize that it%26#039;s going to happen whether you have 2 vases or 4 and you two will be exchanging your vows and that is more important than if there is a bulldozer parked behind the arch lol. Could you two maybe search for a different quiter park nearby? Or even move it to someones backyard who has a pretty setting? I would be freaking out too if I were you, but make a list of all the things that you feel need fixed, give your fiance a huge hug first thing when you see him next, then try and relax to fix things together. If anything else realize how boring of a story to tell people if everything goes perfect!
Reply:Why did you not go to the justice of the peace and just get it over and done with. It would have saved you much, much trouble. You can always have a party afterwards. It is a whole lot less stressful than planning this and that.loan

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