Christmas night out.....its REALLY long sorry !?

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director.





TO: All Employees DATE: 4th November RE: Christmas Party.











I%26#039;m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take


place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!





We%26#039;ll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free


to sing along. And don%26#039;t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of


gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift


should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone%26#039;s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family. Pauline.











FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 5th November





RE: Holiday Party.











In no way was yesterday%26#039;s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.


We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,


from now on we%26#039;re calling it our %26#039; Holiday Party%26#039;.. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be


no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.





Happy now?








Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline.











FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 6th November RE: Holiday Party.











Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn%26#039;t sign your name. I%26#039;m happy


to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, %26quot;AA Only%26quot;, you wouldn%26#039;t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I


supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00


is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Pauline.











FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 7th November RE: Holiday Party.











What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees%26#039; beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I%26#039;ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men%26#039;s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used inthe food.


we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply %26quot;No Sugar%26quot; desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! Pauline.











FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F****** Employees DATE: 8 November RE: The *******Holiday Party.











Vegetarian pricks I%26#039;ve had it with you people !!! We%26#039;re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the %26quot;grill of death%26quot;, as you so quaintly put it, you%26#039;ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic


tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I%26#039;ve heard them scream. I%26#039;m hearing the scream right NOW!! Hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.





The ***** from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director DATE: 9th November RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party.











I%26#039;m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I%26#039;ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Christmas night out.....its REALLY long sorry !?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersFROM: Pauline Lewis c/o Loopy Loo Nursing Home





Date 9th Nov





RE: BETRAYAL %26amp; Holiday Party





Bishop you are dead meat, I have been away less than 24hrs and you are trying to fill my slingbacks





As for them feckin%26#039; feckers who feckin%26#039; fecked me over big time, well wait till I%26#039;m back they Hairy Mairy yoghurt munching feckwits are going to rue the day they clamped eyes on my e-mail and decided to feck with me.





A Holy War I%26#039;ll give them a feckin%26#039; war, there%26#039;ll be more body bags in work than you can stow in a support helicopter heading to New Orleans as part of the Hurricane Relief project.





I%26#039;ll cause more damage than a Scud missile in down town Tel Aviv





by the way thanks for the card, and a meery feckin%26#039; Christmas and a feckin%26#039; happy new year, ya shower o%26#039; shite ye





Lots of Love Pauline
Reply:This just surmises the rainbow cultures which now exist in the UK and how employers are trying by all means to please everyone but with little success.


It%26#039;s more like a true story such that I really feel for Pauline Lewis and how she grappled with every wish only to see herself fall victim to the pressure.


It is long but well worthy it, I love it! Keep them rolling!
Reply:it was long but perfect
Reply:yawn it was long wasn`t it...sorry....i bet it took a life time to type
Reply:I actually read the whole thing and was glad i did. i liked that, it was very funny. thanks for that.
Reply:very funny, but how long did it take you to type this one up
Reply:very good and more and more topical - in this dont offend anyone, pc world we live in
Reply:Sounds like me trying to plan our company %26quot;Holiday%26quot; Party!! :)


Thanks for the laugh!!
Reply:Hahaha. What%26#039;s the point to make a christmas party in the first place then?
Reply:boring.
Reply:thats funny!!!
Reply:long but so worth it, that was so funny my stomach hurts from laughing too much, thanks for making my day xXx
Reply:it%26#039;s long. but funny as hell. thanks for the laugh.
Reply:After planning my company%26#039;s Holiday Party last year, I totally understand. Thanks for the laugh. Happy Holidays!
Reply:You should be sorry, I need a shave now i%26#039;ve read all that!!! lol lol
Reply:lol....just goes to show ya...ya cant please everybody! lolloan

Garden theme wedding with combination of red and green?

i%26#039;m getting married soon and would to have a garden theme wedding. i prefer a combination of red and green with golden details..but i%26#039;ve i have problem choosing the right combination of red and green. can anybody help..and any addtional suggestions for table setting, wedding dress, flower arrangements etc are much appreciated. Thanks
Garden theme wedding with combination of red and green?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersYou say soon, are you going for a christmas garden theme? Because I saw some really nice Christmassy center pieces.





And these colors look good for bridesmaids.


http://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_retu...


http://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_retu...





And what about Green and red candles in a few different sizes on the tables.





I really like this: http://bouquetgarden.com/centerpieces.ht... The tulip one, it has the green and the red with a touch of white.





Here%26#039;s some different favors. http://www.blissweddingfavors.com/shop/c...


But I really like those %26quot;magic beans%26quot; things, and on some you can put your own messages. http://www.blissweddingfavors.com/shop/c...
Reply:I like the Dream in Color by Alfred Angelo wedding dresses:


http://www.alfredangelo.com/index.cfm/fu...





For flowers, I also like red gerbera daisies. That is more %26quot;garden%26quot; to me than roses.
Reply:Try http://www.jellyfish.com for big price savings for wedding favors and supplies. We got cash back.


Good luck
Reply:Unless it is christmas it is going to look like it was very christmasy.c++

How do i clean?

i have silk flower arrangements hanging on walls, they are very dusty, is there a way to wash them without ruining them??
How do i clean?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersCarefully running them under water and blotting dry/wiping excess dust off with a cloth (no paper towels or there%26#039;ll be lint) works for me.





Good luck! (:
Reply:i would do a test on some of the flowers !


but if there is glue it%26#039;s out!


put the flowers themself in a laundry bag and hand wash them! \


place them in the dryer bag in all and dry!





but honestly the rice girl pinned it!
Reply:Brown paper bag with a bit of salt and shake it around . Should come off.
Reply:Use a hair dryer on them to blow the dust away.
Reply:Yes, indeed. You can vacuum them carefully, or shake them well in a bag; and then lightly rinse them in some mild dishwashing liquid and cool water. Hang them upside down to dry.





Try rice. Take a paper bag and place a cup or two of white rice (uncooked of course). Place the plant inside and shake. Give it a few good shakes and the rice will dust the plant off. This works great with wreaths and dried flower arrangements too.





You can also blow them with your hair blowdryer outside. Make sure you use the cool option.
Reply:There is a silk flower cleaner spray available at most craft stores that does a decent job as long as the dust hasn%26#039;t built up too heavy. Shake them out first and then spray.
Reply:Throw them out. Bad feng shui.yahoo finance

I have Hello magazine coming to the manor for a photo shoot?

What can I do to make the scene look as contrived as possible? I%26#039;ve already ordered unfeasibly large flower arrangements, and I%26#039;m thinking of wearing a ballgown whilst making a cup of tea. Any other tips to make my lifestyle look false and ideal?
I have Hello magazine coming to the manor for a photo shoot?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersWell you could as Lavinia and I did.... Sneak into Buck House, while the owners were away..... Nobody noticed and we had a superb spread in Loaded..... Though I was surprised at the nature of the magazine, I assumed it was to do with wealth, not what we discovered..... Still Lavinia enjoyed the centrespread of herself....... Though why she had to be undressed beat me
Reply:Lady P, I will send my man Bagthorpe (87) over with the young stable boy Smith, I recently flogged him for not polishing the underside of my riding boots.


He is still dishevelled and pale, if you show him whimpering in the back ground it will show to all how caring you are as to let the servant’s shelter within ones abode.


After the photo shoot you can flog him for good measure.
Reply:You should remove the Bentley and have your horse and carriage on the driveway, make sure a scruffy looking lad is cleaning the chimney and he must keep shouting %26#039;Thanking you kindly maaaam.%26#039; Also carry a little bell with you to summon the help, wear a tiara, look at everyone through an eyepiece, throw bundles of cash in the fire place and call the queen during your shoot. Happy days.
Reply:Shove a pony in the garden( be kind to it though)





Don`t make the tea yourself get a mate to be your maid for the day





Talk propa like wot a do





Don`t wear your slippers and remember to take your curlers out of your hair





Spray loads of furniture polish about





Last but not least SMILE
Reply:Have a photo with your man with you both grinning like the happiest couple on earth even though he%26#039;s had an affair with your nanny and you%26#039;re desperately unhappy due to your ongoing battle with an eating disorder / constant harassment from the paps / lack of sleep / failed solo career.
Reply:Oh super spiffing be carful, you know the curse of Hello Magazine dont you.


You could borrow some jewels from tifanys %26amp; tiara, %26amp; butler I think paul Burrows would be interesting as he has had lots to say.visual arts

About gender equality again...?

hi guys!! thanks for all your answers to my question yesterday. I really appreciate it. Now I know some people do have the same outlook as I have. I guess it doesn%26#039;t matter if we are male or female. We just have to do what we do best. There are women mechanics, CEOs, and soldiers. There are also men who are great at beauty parlors and flower arrangements. There should also be movements for men - they are deprived of showing their emotions and are labelled as weak if they do. Or better yet, no feminist or male movements at all! .
About gender equality again...?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersThat would be awesome! and I agree, men are forced not to show emotions. from the beginning, if they get hurt the mother or father says, %26quot;boys don%26#039;t cry. toughen up%26quot;. I agree with you whole heartedly!
Reply:Sexual, not gender. Gender is a grammatical term.
Reply:feminism does support that for men.makeup tips

What are ALL the Sims 2 talent badges and how to do you get them?

I%26#039;m not sure if there%26#039;s anymore, but I%26#039;ve done Cosmetics, Flower Arrangements, Sales, Restocking, and Robots.
What are ALL the Sims 2 talent badges and how to do you get them?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy Flowersenter the cheat %26#039;boolprop testingcheatsenabled true%26#039; and then hold shift while clicking on a person, click on %26#039;spawn%26#039; and spawn a badge juicer.





Gives you all talent badges in bronze, silver, or gold (your choice!)





Here%26#039;s the full list





Cosmetology


Sales


Flower Making


Toy Making


Robot Making


Cash Register


Restocking


Pottery


Sewing


Fishing


Gardening
Reply:Theres also toy making.





And if you have Sims 2 Seasons, there is gardening %26amp; fishing!





Good Luck! ;-]
Reply:another one is operating the cash register
Reply:Toy crafting. Being a cashier.





Fishing and gardening are added for Seasons.





With Free Time, you can get ones for pottery and sewing.books authors

Is the ottoman taking the place of the original coffee table?

I%26#039;m in the process of puchasing a new living room suit, I like the sectionals, but every display I see, has a ottoman instead of a coffe table. I like it, but what kind of items do I put on there(books, ash trays, flower arrangements etc.), because what do a person do with their coffe cups,cocktail or drinking glasses?
Is the ottoman taking the place of the original coffee table?

FlowersBirthday FlowersSympathy FlowersI work in a Contemporary Interior Design store and no they%26#039;re not replacing them. They are optional. They do make ottomans that have reversible hard surfaces. The top is cushion for a foot rest and when you flip it over it has a tray (with for sides). Some of these ottomans are chests as well, so they are really a good buy, with three purposes. Most people purchase sectionals with ottomans %26amp; end tables. You can get the sectional and skip the ottomans and get a coffee table instead or yes, if the ottoman is big enough get trays.
Reply:I%26#039;m not a fan of ottomans for anything except putting up your feet.


An upholstered or leather surface used otherwise is bound to get stained; it%26#039;s just not the most stable place to put drinks and such.





Plus--when you substitute an ottoman for a cocktail/coffee table, you lose the great texture and interest that wood accent furniture gives to contrast with the upholstered sectional.





If you don%26#039;t don%26#039;t replace your furniture very often, then it%26#039;s better to stay away from a trend that will leave your room looking dated in a couple of years. I%26#039;d go with wood or even wrought iron/glass...something classic and durable.
Reply:The displays show an ottoman to keep it simple and uncluttered, because they have to fit all parts of the sectional into one picture. Some people do use an ottoman with a large tray on top, but for most people it really isn%26#039;t practical. I hate being at someone%26#039;s house an not having a surface to put my glass or coffee cup on, and I don%26#039;t want to be worrying about spilling.





An ottoman is still good for putting your feet up!
Reply:Don%26#039;t drink in the living room.
Reply:I must have misunderstood. In my time, an ottoman was a foot rest. How can a foot rest take the place of a coffee table? They are two entirely different pieces, with very different uses.
Reply:A lot of them open up...but that is so tacky...stay with a coffee table....really....unless yo uare planning to add shag carpet too.


Cheers in your decorating!!!!!!!
Reply:you can use the ottoman as an extra seat, if you need a place for a Glass, a mug or anything you can always buy an extra coffee-table or end-tables, also a lot of sectionals have the optional fold down backrest with built in cup-holders. Check it out at a furniture store.
Reply:What do you want you or your guests to place there? Are you serving something? Ottoman with a serving tray.....fits right in with your question. What is the focus of the room you are furnishing and who will you invite into this room? Think about why any building is built. Purpose/Function...then fit it into your budget.make up